Monday, March 31, 2008

All My Heart

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

Recently I was asked in my Bible study a question regarding this verse (Mark 12:30). The question was, "Can you sincerely say that you love God with all your heart?" Something about that question troubled me. I reflected on it for a few days.

A few nights later I went to a women's conference at a nearby church. Surprisingly the speaker began her teaching with this same verse. I immediately said to God, "Lord, You have my attention. What are you trying to teach me?"

Through the message I learned that I have been holding back certain areas of my heart from God. He started bringing to my remembrance sensitive issues from my girlhood, things I typically tried to pretend weren't there. Avoiding these things has always been a way of life for me.

When I became a Christian I was forgiven for my past. Why was God bringing these things up now? I'm suppose to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead (Phil. 3:13)
Undoubtedly, there were issues from my past I wasn't willing to yield to the Lord.

At the close of the conference I was baffled. I didn't understand what He was trying to teach me. I pondered the things I heard that night for several days. Gradually the Lord opened my eyes until they became unclouded. It was becoming increasingly clear that He desired all of my heart and not just a portion of it. His motives for revealing these hidden things of my heart was not to hurt me or to bring shame, but to draw our hearts closer together. I realize now that I cannot have deep intimacy with Him if I don't surrender all of me.

Now, instead of suppressing my past, I let God meet my emotional needs and heal me from my hurts. If I truly want to be a woman of God I need to love Him fervently with my whole heart. Loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength means to keep nothing back from Him, but allow Him full access to every area of my heart and life.

Lord, I love You. I love the tender way you pursue me. Help me to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Thank you that you want all of me and that there is freedom when I'm honest with you. I pray your Holy Spirit will enable me to love you more. Change my heart until there is only wholehearted devotion there for you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Crystal Beavin
April 10, 2008